Friday, October 9, 2009

Rachel's Story - Panic

I just started a new panic group at the ROH to try to deal with the panic disorder I’ve been experiencing. Apparently, panic disorder is present if panic attacks are accompanied by a persistent anxiety or worry about having another attack, are associated with a fearful interpretation of panic symptoms or result in life changes as a result of the attacks. I’ve been experiencing several panic attacks lately, predominantly at bedtime. I suddenly become very fearful, my heart begins to race and pound, my body trembles, I sweat, feel dizzy, feel short of breath and have thoughts that I am “going crazy”.

Due to fear of panic attacks, I have often avoided certain situations. These have included public places where lots of people are in a small space such as public transportation (buses, subways), concerts, parties, shopping malls, etc.

Historically, to deal with my panic attacks, I have frequently depended upon self-harm (which I realize is destructive and not a good solution) and medication (clonazepam and lorazepam). I am hoping that the group I’ve just started will provide me with some good alternative solutions. Does anyone have any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

Hi Rachel and Melba.I can relate and I always turn to self harm as Rachel mentioned, then of course I have to make sure I hide what I did to myself and make an excuse that my family will not question.I also have lots of experience with panic, ending in hospital mimicking a heart attack.I avoid crowds, hate them and I must have ways to "bolt" or get out in a hurry, or constantly go in/out for short periods.
I also only have one person I try to reach, but I feel so guilty asking this person to keep checking on me to see how I'm doing.I am caught between desperation for this person to make contact to hear that voice to make me realize this friends still there and hasn't given up on me, but at the same time I push this person away over the guilt of bothering them, while wanting to "scream out" to call me lots cuz I need the support, voice, understanding reassurance.What a mess and vicious circle it is and that I'm caught in.

Melba11 said...

The "pam" meds have never been effective for me especially with the anxiety and panic attacks.

My pattern and cycle is being down -depression, sometimes suicidal ideation and then up- anxiety/panic attacks. Panic is the worst. I do not know when they come on and I worry all the time that one will come out of no where and when I least can handle them. I had one last week in my T's office and as usual I try and fight them which makes it worse.

I am glad to hear that you are in a group Rachel. Hope it works out for you.

Sorry I do not have any real advise to give atm.