Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rachel's Story - The Monster That is Anxiety

Lately I have a hard time taking a full, complete breath.  I feel a bit like I'm suffocating much of the time.  I often wake up about an hour after I've gone to bed, panicked, overheated, sweaty and desperate for air and water.  Strangely, I feel like I'm drowning.  I've fortunately never had the terrifying experience of almost drowning before, but this is what I imagine it must be like.  I'm gasping for air,  my heart is pounding, I'm convinced I'm going to die.  It's like I can't find the surface to take a big gulp of fresh air.   At the same time I am excessively thirsty.  I run to the kitchen and pour myself a giant glass of fresh, cool water and drink it down.  At last, my heart begins to calm.  I've been experiencing lots of panic attacks over the past few weeks - no doubt these must be part of that.  They are really terrifying.  I'm learning to depend a little more on Lorazepam now and things are beginning to straighten themselves out.  It's really easy to feel alone with anxiety which is why I wanted to share my story.  You are not alone.  Please feel free to share your story too.