It is sad but many of my friendships have suffered as a result of my illness. I was asked this week what I have lost due to my illness and friendships would be at the top of my list. Because my natural instinct is to isolate myself when I’m feeling down, this breaks up my connections with other people. Some friends understand this and those are my best friends (the friendships I’ve managed to maintain). I truly appreciate them. But because when I’m down I find it excruciatingly hard to reach out to others, it’s difficult to make links. Over the years I think I have lost many opportunities this way.
Recently though, I have made some new friends through the course of my treatment at the hospital. They are others, who, like me, are struggling with a similar illness. I value these friends because they truly understand what I’m going through and they give me HOPE to continue my battle. We are able to share stories and symptoms in a way that others cannot understand. I am so thankful to these friends (you all know who you are) and urge more people to come forward here on the blog and share – it really helps!
4 comments:
I am in the same situation as yourself, sort of with the difference being I do not want nor try to make friends.I'm way past that. I know nobody would want to associate with me anyways. I'm use to it and have no interest in even trying. Inadequacy, uselessness, dark thoughts and feelings because of what i've been through.
I only reach out to one person,and that is getting harder and harder now.So I really do understand about withdrawing and isolating from everyone.But,thats why I follow your story and thank you for sharing.
i can really relate to what you say about having no interest in even trying because of the dark thoughts and what you've been through. that's why you should continue to reach out to other people who understand your experience because they're living it too.
Hi Anonymous and Rachel:
I too push people away in my life and isolate myself because I do not think that they will understand or will judge me unfairly.
The only ones that do are friends who will not give up on me. And even then I do not share with them the deep pain that comes with our disease.
I have been on the wait list at the ROH anxiety clinic as an outpatient since April and am getting discouraged that I will get professional help but at least I have one friend who understands. Of course Rachel you have helped me with sharing your story and I do not feel so alone.
Thank you,
Melba
Hi Melba,
You have helped me as well! I'm glad to hear that you have one friend who understands...so do I and it means so much to me.
I just started a panic group that's part of the ROH anxiety clinic this week - I'm hoping it will help with my panic attacks. Don't be discouraged...i'm sure you'll get help soon! I had to wait a while but now that the group has finally started i'm sure it will be worth the wait.
How are you feeling these days? I'm feeling a bit better than I was a couple of weeks ago - I'm on a new anti-depressant called Pristiq and it seems to be working well.
Rachel
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