I always hear psychologists say that anxiety and depression go hand in hand. That they tend to feed off of one another. I have always believed this to be true in my case since I do suffer from long bouts of anxiety coupled with my depression. In fact, before I was ever thought to have bipolar disorder, I was diagnosed with unipolar depression and generalized anxiety disorder.
What I have discovered recently is that, at their worst, depression and anxiety do not coexist simultaneously for me. That is to say, when I am severely depressed, it seems that my mood is so low that I don’t care about anything. Nothing worries me. Everything seems inconsequential. There is nothing for me to be anxious about.
When I am less depressed I have more energy, which translates into anxious thoughts. Anxiety is terrifying. I’m always on the defensive, in panic mode. I become paralyzed. I’m afraid of the simplest things. Lately, I’m fearful of being a passenger in the car in icy weather conditions. I can’t stand being in stores with bright lights and loud sounds and lots of people. Panic sets in. My heart starts pounding and I feel like I can’t breathe – I’ve got to remove myself from the situation. Even small holiday gatherings put an amount of stress on me that exceeded my limit…socializing always tends to make me anxious. I’m trying so hard just to control my symptoms that I cannot focus at all on the conversation or fun that is being had.
So I don’t know which is better. Depression and anxiety are both scary for different reasons and they seem to cycle back and forth unless you stop them with meds and/or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). In my experience, CBT has only been somewhat helpful…I’ve only had one session so far, I will be continuing in a few weeks. Has anyone else found HOPE in CBT?
Happy New Year!
10 comments:
Happy New Year Rachel
Thanks for bringing this topic up. As you may recall I am not certain that I have a proper diagnosis. Depression is either really bad or my anxiety is really bad. Anxiety is the worst thing to deal with for me because I hide it as much as I can and I feel so alone because I don't let others in.
I can relate to the social anxiety although the meds that I am on have helped somewhat.
I am seeing a therapist that uses CBT and I find that it is helpful because I can see the negative thought processes that are getting me stuck. What is hard to do however is to let others help me change those thoughts. I am a work in progress I guess.
Take care and nice to have you back posting again
Melba
since u have only had one session, maybe you should try it for awhile and stick with it as it might take awhile to get results for you, but at least try it??? who knows, best of luck though.
Hi Rachel:
Just wondering how you are doing
Melba
Hi Melba,
Thanks for asking. I am okay. I still haven't been discharged from the hospital. I've been an inpatient for 10 and a half weeks now (nearly 3 months!!!) and i'm bored. i think that's a good sign. it's time for me to get out!!!! however, they are still adjusting my medications and it will probably be at least a couple more weeks until i am discharged. this is frustrating but i am trying to be patient and understand that this is one step toward my long-term health and happiness!
how are you?
Well Rachel, I can see how frustrating being in hospital may be but getting your meds adjusted would seem to be best handled there.
I am doing okay. Anxiety has been really bad for the past few months, worse since Christmas. Going through some med changes myself. I hope that this gets settled down soon as it is frustrating.
I don't have a regular PDOC, seeing one at an outpatient clinic, only have 10-15 minutes with her. she has talked about referring me to someone else but I will have to do some driving to get there. I live outside of Ottawa. See her in three weeks to check on the med change.
Take care
Melba
Melba:
I was in same situation before I was admitted to hospital in that I was seeing my psychiatrist for only about 15 minutes each session, to check in about meds. I know that in order for me to remain healthy I need a psychiatrist who can also provide some talk-therapy....and this is proving really difficult to find. Is that kind of what you're looking for as well?
I had a very good experience with CBT. It was great for helping me get re-established after having been in the hospital for about a month. My life was in order for a good year afterwards. Now, I really miss it as things are getting difficult again.
Is it difficult to put the tools that you acquired back into practice now, on your own? I imagine that motivation would be one challenge for me in that situation. As I have previously stated, I have not taken all that much CBT, but from what I have taken I know that it involves some mood monitoring...maybe you could start something like that again? Would that help?
Rachel:
I wish I could describe what I am going through with my anxiety and depression but I can't. It is very confusing. My PDOC raised my meds, it is playing havock with my sleep, having terrible nightmares.
Yes I am looking for a PDOC who is willing to do CBT or talk therapy because meds are not doing it for me.
Later
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